benefits of meditation for relationships
You deserve better. Your spouse/partner deserves better. Your kid(s) deserve better. I’ve heard you say this. I’ve said it.
Anxiety poisons relationships. Right? You see this, right? I do. But it doesn’t just poison outside relationships. It poisons YOUR relationship to YOURSELF. All relationships, really, unless they are the superficial ones then those might be OK. Relationships are important and critical for a human’s wellness. Me and you? Human.
This post continues with the 4 part blog series to have a better day, leading to a better life. First, we talked about gratitude, upcoming is stop complaining. This post is about the benefits of meditation for people with anxiety and relationship struggles. So, meditation is a strategy, a tip, that you can use, that can help improve your relationships.
When it comes to meditation, some people are quick to point out its health benefits like lowered blood pressure, decreased inflammation, controls pain, and decreases anxiety. These are all TRUE. But meditation doesn’t just affect your physical health.
Within my coaching practice is a re-occurring theme, besides anxiety, of relationship struggles. Meditation is a 1 – 2 punch to help anxiety and relationships. Win/Win!
Relationship Meditation Benefits
I started meditation for anxiety and noticed an improvement in my relationship to my spouse first. My kid second, and me third. (Aren’t we always last?) However, my anxiety pretty much stays at bay now, so I would say, my relationship to myself is a front-runner.
Here are some relationship benefits I found after practicing meditation personally and/or from client’s feedback.
The Ability to Notice
Meditation teaches you how to be present in the moment. It gives you the chance to check in with your mind and body. But more importantly, it shows you how to listen and notice. This can come in handy when it comes to defusing arguments with your partner and loved ones.
For example, you and your partner frequently argue about cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, a task you both dislike and y’all decided to take turns. One evening, your spouse is certain it’s your turn. You are 100% certain it is NOT. There is silly banter, then quick anger. Normally, when your spouse gets angry at you over this, your go-to response is defensive.
But if you’ve been meditating, then you know to slow down and tune into your partner. You notice the bags under his eyes from a hard day at work, or you know she had a bad night of sleep. You take notice. You’re present. You want to take care of your loved one and say, “Hey, babe. I’ll handle the cleanup tonight. You look tired. Is there something else I could take off your plate?”
You taking notice build connection.
The Ability to Step Back
Sometimes, loved ones let us down or hurt our feelings. On those days, it’s easy to start focusing on everything you do and everything your loved one doesn’t do.
For example, you might fume to a co-worker, “I cook dinner every night so he can have time to de-stress after work. But he complains when I ask him to do something simple like help with the laundry or unload the dishwasher!”
Meditating helps you remember that the universe is vast and these problems are tiny in the scheme of things. It doesn’t mean you’re not irritated. It just means you don’t let that irritation develop into a huge fight next time you see your spouse. You develop the skill to let things go.
The Ability to Show Compassion
Your friend or family member who routinely quits her jobs is whining about money problems again. You love your friend but she always creates her own problems then asks you for a solution – which she ignores
Meditating allows you to feel compassion for her without getting sucked into her drama. You emphasize with her lack of money by saying, “It’s rough when finances are tight. But things will get better if you hang in there.”
Then you change the subject of the conversation. Your friend feels like she was heard and you avoided the usual theatrics. That’s a win-win.
You know I’m all about taking action. Don’t just read and go, “oh that is interesting”, read and act. Or read and ignore then find something else that works for you. Either way, take action.
If you are new to meditation, I encourage you to:
- Explore meditation apps, CDs, or YouTube channels. Find 1, or 2, or 10 that you like.
- Start with 1 minute and work your way up in time.
- Understand that EVERY TIME your mind wanders and you catch it, that is a WIN and helps strengthen your mind and meditation ability. To me, that is a successful meditation – the catching of the wandering mind and coming back to center. It’s NOTICING in action!
- Set up your environment. Perhaps get a meditation cushion and use aromatherapy. I started on the living room floor propped up against the couch. When you are ready modify and adapt as needed.
Give yourself compassion to “learn” meditation. You CAN’T do it wrong. You can’t! Allow yourself to explore this scientifically proven method for a better mental outlook, better relationships, and a great start to your day.
Currently, I have 3 meditation apps that I rotate between. I have gone from 1 minute to 15 minutes of meditation. I also make a point to meditate around the same time in the morning, in the same room, and I create a relaxing environment to complete the meditation. My environment consists of my meditation cushion, aromatherapy running, and the lights on.
Meditation is a good practice that can benefit your life in many ways. But like all practices, you get out of what you’re willing to put into it. That means you have to make meditation a priority and do it regularly in order to reap all the good benefits for your relationships. Also, I know this post was mostly about spouse/partner relationships – I encourage you to look for how this relates to other relationships too.
Also, I so firmly believe in this that I created a little journal worksheet that can help you with your relationships and meditation. Click here to get it for free.
Leave a comment with what relationship you are looking forward to improving the most!